Loretta Sage (Sandra Bullock) is a novelist known for writing compelling adventures starring a fictional hero named Dash. In the process of writing her latest book, she imagines herself and Dash in a dangerous situation involving snakes and henchmen. However, she finds that certain things are wrong about it and "erases" everything. She feels pressured over the death of her explorer husband years ago, along with her publicist (Da'Vine Joy Randolph), who demands to see the latest draft of her book.
Later, Loretta, dressed in a sequined jumpsuit, is invited to an exhibition to talk about the book, goaded by her publicist and social media manager (Patti Harrison). She hesitates to leave when she learns that Dash cover model Alan Caprison (Channing Tatum) will also be there. She leaves anyway, and Alan comes on stage in a fake blonde wig, to great fan applause. Somewhere in the middle of the presentation, a fan asks "Dash" to dip Loretta. She tries to go through the motions, but rips off Alan's blonde wig and abruptly ends the presentation.
After being chewed up by her publicist, Loretta finds her way out instead of going to the next interview she's supposed to be at. She breaks up with Alan after a fight. She calls for a car and is suddenly picked up in a black SUV and surrounded by mysterious henchmen. Alan sees her driving away and tries in vain to pursue her.
Loretta meets Abigail Fairfax (Daniel Radcliffe), an eccentric billionaire who's trying to woo her with a pile of cheese. He explains that an artifact points to a mysterious treasure off a small island that could be wiped away by a volcano that could erupt at any moment. He asks Loretta to name her price, but she declines. He then reveals that a plane is waiting for them, and he knocks them unconscious.
Back at the hotel, Alan feels guilty for what happened to Loretta. He, her publicist, and her social media manager try to track her down. He ends up calling an old buddy he used to do yoga with, Jack Trainer (Brad Pitt), to help her find them via her smart watch. He tells Alan to meet him on the island and he will have her back "within 48 hours".
Loretta awakens and is led to a campsite where Abigail has set up a shop to research the island's treasure location. He has Loretta tied up and demands that she get to work. Meanwhile, Alan makes his way to the island purely as a tourist and meets up with Jack, and the two drive to Abigail's estate in a small car.
After a quick nap, Abigail puts even more pressure on Loretta to translate the little piece he found that points to the treasure. She translates it, but he wants her to do it again. Meanwhile, Trainer dispatches a number of his troops while Alan, locked out of the car he was supposed to be staying in, serves as useless reinforcements and occasionally smacks a henchman or two.
The pair eventually make their way to Loretta, but are unable to detach her from the chair. They end up carrying her, the chair and all, off the premises as explosions go off. They make their way back to the car, but before they can leave, Jack is shot in the head, with his "brain" over Alan's face. They eventually load into the car, with Loretta still in the chair, and take off. Abigail, furious that Loretta took the only piece of the puzzle, demands her recapture.
Loretta and Alan stop after a quick escape after Loretta falls out of the car. Alan frees them from the chair, but after they return to the car, it falls over the side of the cliff and they are unable to contact authorities. They eventually make their way to the car, but the phone is destroyed, and Alan suggests walking through the jungle to get to the airport and reach the authorities. Abigail's troops continue to pursue them.
After a brief trip to a small animal shelter that leaves Alan covered in leeches (especially on his butt), Loretta takes them off and eventually reaches a waterfall. Here, Loretta uses the clue she stole from Abigail to decipher the rest of the mysterious puzzle he was trying to solve, indicating that the treasure is hidden somewhere with "endless tears." The two are then almost caught by Abigail's henchmen climbing up a mountain to escape them. Alan tries to help Loretta by pushing his head between her legs from below. Finally they reach the top.
The two set up camp and chat about the adventure they've had, eventually falling asleep in a rather small hammock. Meanwhile, Abigail enlists a trio of motorcyclists to join the pursuit.
Finally, in the morning, Loretta tells Alan what she really thinks of him, explaining that he's just a cover model looking for attention. Alan actually reveals that he comes from a family and enjoys being Dash as it makes fans happy and despises Loretta for not trying to please fans. The couple starts moving again and eventually makes their way to a small village. After speaking to the local police for protection, the duo clean up and begin to get acquainted with the villagers.
Meanwhile, the publicist took it upon herself to track Loretta and get her back. She takes a small charter to a tiny airport where she is eventually told there is no ride. Here she meets Oscar (Oscar Nunez)
and his goat, which they are happy to transport there. She eventually arrives at a small police station, only to be told they're "closed." She eventually convinces her to help her.
After a short dance (encouraged by a local woman), Loretta learns from her where the pool of "Endless Tears" might be and asks Alan to come with her to find the treasure. Excited to regain her adventurous spirit, she convinces him and he leaves to get supplies. However, she finds Abigail waiting, who recaptures her and begins to drive off. Alan follows on a small motorbike.
After a brief chase, Loretta sets the vehicle's interior on fire while Alan fights goons (badly) upstairs. Eventually, the two are captured and led to the island, where Abigail furiously plans to find the treasure. They go inside where one of his goons falls off a cliff after taunting Loretta. You work your way through a small tunnel and find a tomb waiting inside.
After the violent opening of a crypt, it is discovered that the treasure is nothing more than collected shells, a man's declaration of love for his beloved. Angry that they didn't find anything. Abigail traps Loretta and Alan in a tomb as the volcano begins to erupt, but not before his henchman leaves them a crowbar. After a few minutes of talking about the adventure they had, Alan uses the crowbar to pull the duo out.
Abigail is picked up by the publicist and the police, where he pretends to be an innocent victim after his henchman took off in the boat. Meanwhile, Loretta and Alan narrowly escape the tomb after many explosions, only to be recovered by the publicist. After telling the truth about Abigail, he tries to escape but is attacked by Oscar, who says he is behind the publicist. Relaxing on a nearby rock, Loretta and Alan create the cover for their next book, to be published months later.
The publicist, social media executive and Oscar relax on an island after the release of their book while Loretta and Alan are nearby and talk about the relationship they've forged over the course of their adventure. After a strange conversation, they kiss.
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